hypocritic much? I'd say so!

When I started this blog, I was totally in a really foul mood and I was not on talking terms with two of my closest girl friends. I started talking about Katherine and did write a few posts about her, but never got around to mentioning Kayla; obviously the other friend with whom things weren't the best those days. But then a few days after I wrote my first post, I mentioned in another post that things were getting better with Kayla so I didn't want to bitch about her.

Well, now I do.

virtual coffee #2

It's almost as if I was waiting for Tuesday just so I could have coffee with all of you. And believe it or not, I actually went to a coffee shop this week (as I had promised), just so I could make this all the more real. :) Let's all head over to Amy's and have a cuppa coffee, shall we?

It's so great to see you all after an entire week. There's quite a bit that I want to share this week. But before that, what will you have?? I'll have a Cafe Mocha this week. I'm in the mood for a little bit of chocolate as well.

virtual coffee #1

Even though under the guise of anonymity, I've found quite a few blogs that I'm following. When I was just browsing through, I came across Amy's blog where she does this virtual coffee thing every Tuesday. Bloggers write posts as if they were meeting other bloggers for coffee. As I've been dying to share this stuff with someone (I've been writing, but no one seems to be reading :P) I thought I'd give this a try. :)

So Let's get started

i'm a little better now

I ranted last time about how miserable I was feeling. I am a little better now - in the sense that I am not feeling all that miserable, although a little bit of it is still there.

Remember when I started this blog, I talked about two friendships that were going had gone sour, but I wrote only about Katherine because I felt the other one was getting better? A few days ago, the other one also fell apart, and I still don't know if the reason that has been given to me is in fact the actual reason for whatever happened.

sometimes, i just want to get drunk and forget about the world

Things have been pretty crazy these past few weeks (or maybe months) and I have reached a point where I might be lured into thinking that I might be going in the same direction too. There's no obvious evidence to support my statement, but I know me, and I know that I am not the same me that I used to be a few months ago. The worst part is that I don't know what has changed or what it was that has made me change.

the bargain

I know it has been ages since I posted here and today I felt like I was in the mood to bitch. When I came back, I realised that I had left a story hanging the last time I posted and decided that it would only be right to complete it before I go on with my regular bitching. Speaking of which, I think the name of my blog has a very negative feel. I might change that and the url as well - not sure to what. Anyway, moving on with the story...

A few months after the torture treatment, the whole gang decided to take a trip. Katherine and I hadn't spoken to each other since that disastrous day when I had decided that staying away from her would be the best way I could retain my sanity and the last few ounces of self-respect that I had left.

tell me how much I mean to you

I described one incident in the last post that described the troubles I had to go through with Katherine; and I had said that I had a few more incidents to share. I’m not able to write the blog in chronological sequence because I am writing the stories as and when I can think of them or as and when I am reminded of them. So forgive the time difference.

As I was saying; there was another incident where I don’t know how but the blame for something I hadn’t even done, got shifted to me. Before I go on to that story, there are some things you need to know about me. I am open to criticism, and I guess if anyone has read the previous posts up till here, they’d know. But the most important thing is, the way it is presented. If you scream on top of your voice to tell me how wrong I am, I won’t even bother to listen to you and then I start acting like a teenager who is rebellious. I will do exactly the opposite of what you want me to do, or what you’d like for me to do. Simple rule, isn’t it?

standing my ground

So I lived for almost six years, always thinking that I was the one who was wrong and apologizing for something that I didn't believe I had done; before it started getting on my nerves. All these years, when Katherine had fought with me and accused me of hurting her, Joan had stood by her most of the times and sort of agreed with her.

As long as we've known each other, Joan and I have never argued or fought with each other, except when she tried to put across Katherine's point of view which I never seemed to understand. For instance, there was this time when the three of us tried living together just for fun to see what living with roommates felt like. We didn't have to go through much trouble because there was an empty apartment that Katherine's grandparents owned and they both died a couple of years ago. Also, the apartment was furnished with bare minimum necessities. So living there was just fine with us because we got to live with our best friends. It was a minute's walk from where Katherine and her parents lived. So if we needed anything urgently, we could always rush over and get it, because the apartment we lived in didn't have everything!

about katherine

Two posts in one day?? I must have nothing else to do. Well, that may be correct. I am at home these days, not getting much done. Wanna call it a sabbatical? Yeah, let's do that. Sounds better than a jobless old maid - not that I am old - yet.

Anyway, continuing from the previous post, accepting Katherine's invitation to go with her to the other class during the break was the best decision of my life and I am really thankful to her that she asked me to come with her. I met a lot of people I had known since kindergarten, but was never really friends with because of my snob like attitude and a filthy mouth that I had all those years, and I don't blame them.

almost a decade ago...

I am going to start with one of the two stories about the friendships that I had and I lost; and I'm going to start with the one that is the oldest (also because the other one seems to be getting better :) so I don't want to talk badly about that.)

So I knew this girl - let's call her Katherine - right from my school days and I NEVER liked her. All throughout my school life she had been nothing but a pain, not only to me, also to quite a few people in our grade. She thought a little too much about herself than others would approve of and that led to ego clashes between her and a few other people. The fact that she used to top the class, didn't help her cause at all.

with friends like these, who needs enemies??

First of all, I am not a loner. I have a wholesome life with loads and I mean loads of people in it! But it has been so, that I have more guy friends than girls. Is it weird? I don't know.

It is not that I don't have girl friends, but there are very few of them that I can really open up to. I can count them on my finger tips. Come to think about it, it doesn't seem to be such a bad thing. You don't need a lot of close friends. Even if you have just one who is trustworthy, I guess that would be enough.

welcome aboard

You know what everyone does on their blog??? They write only about the good stuff that's been going on in their life and conveniently leave out the ugly things; and everyone reading their page thinks, "Wow! They have such a wonderful life! I wish I could live that way!"

Let me tell you, it is all bullshit! No one wants to air their dirty laundry! Especially not on their own blog where they want people to follow them and read their oh-so-awesome posts about their oh-so-awesome lives and leave nice comments. It doesn't happen that way.