First of all, I am not a loner. I have a wholesome life with loads and I mean loads of people in it! But it has been so, that I have more guy friends than girls. Is it weird? I don't know.
It is not that I don't have girl friends, but there are very few of them that I can really open up to. I can count them on my finger tips. Come to think about it, it doesn't seem to be such a bad thing. You don't need a lot of close friends. Even if you have just one who is trustworthy, I guess that would be enough.
But the thing here is, how do you judge a person when they appear to be really nice and try to be your best friend, when the might not be. I for one, have made tremendous errors in judgement in this area. I have been good friends with loads of girls only to discover later that they were friends with me only for some reason, or made new friends and forgot me or wanted to just stab me in the back. Would you call such a person a 'friend'? I wouldn't.
I have two such people in my life (I'm not sure if I still have them in my life... but I did have them as a part of my life until recently) and unfortunately I had shared a wonderful friendship with both of them until things went wrong. 'Unfortunately' because, if they were not-so-great friendships, I wouldn't have had trouble accepting the fate they met. Moreover, I would have gracefully accepted the deterioration of the friendship if I had something to add to the deterioration. Sadly, from my point of view, I did quite a bit to maintain the present level of the relationship if not fight hard to save it.
Not only have these friendships ceased to exist (one of them was my friend for more than a decade!) they have taken such an ugly turn that these two girls do not mind making a public show of it.
I can understand that you tend to 'not like' or even 'hate' a person once you've fought with them; but declaration of such stuff (directly and indirectly) over the internet on blogs or facebook profiles is so - what's the word I'm looking for here - not classy?? Yeah, not classy.
Why would you want to make it obvious to the rest of the world that you don't care about a certain person anymore? What would someone achieve? And such behavior from someone in their mid-twenties shows the lack of maturity (in addition to lack of class.)
The stuff they've done makes me cringe every time I think about it. You would say maybe I should just stop thinking about it. That's the most intelligent thing to do. But what if you are the kind of person who takes things to heart and is affected by things like these easily? And how can you not, when such situations are created by people who are very close to you; people that you trusted?
Well, all said and done, my good judgement failed me again and I tortured my mind thinking about stuff I shouldn't have been thinking about; worrying about something that clearly didn't even matter to the other person and ruining my mood for days, sometimes weeks. I'm going to tell these stories in the next few posts. I know it is just like renewing the wound. But somewhere deep down, I feel that letting it out in the open (and with a the use of a little profanity) I might feel a bit better because hey, I'm not pointing fingers at someone, at least not directly!
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